The Tune
Issue/Episode: 3, Volume/Season One
Randall wakes up from The Tune in 1999, fresh from his jarring experience as Tricia in The Shout.
Randall:
Son of a bitch, I could use a damn aspirin.
P gets Randall water, which he chugs before liquid vomiting (no acidity, pure stomach water and gunk).
Randall:
Good God, that was
Randall pounds more water, crawling out of The Tune, woozy and half-conscious, barely balancing himself but needing to get up.
General Todd wheels an office chair for him to sit on while P gives him more water.
Randall:
Ice
P gets him frozen peas for his forehead.
Randall:
I’m the first dumbass to try this, huh?
General Todd
(Under his breath)
That we know of
Randall:
(Sarcastically)
…wonder why..?
P
(Reassuringly)
To be fair, Bacon theorized it to be like a muscle, improving with use.
Randall:
(Woozy)
Won’t be…again…soon
Randall nods off again, waking up in a very formal and clinical governmental/institutional looking ethereal classroom. The walls are flat and white, yet oddly translucent in matter.
Tricia enters the classroom dressed in P’s most recent “We Lift The World” outfit.
Tricia:
(Disappointed)
Fashion has really gone downhill since my time, I would have gotten so much s*** for dressing this casually back in the day. .
Tricia taps on Randall’s back.
Tricia:
How’s it going, junior?
(Tricia teasingly)
Ooo, Junior’s all growdsed up now. This is hurting MY non-physical brain. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to your melon.
Randall:
…What the hell…?
Tricia:
Sorry about the whole “The Being” thing earlier. Blame your weird brain.
Randall:
Oh God
Tricia:
(Contemplatively)
Ooo, that’s an interesting concept. Are you my afterlife?
Randall:
(Unnerved)
Shut up demon
Tricia:
(Depressed)
Fine, I’ll go as far away as I can, but neither of us are the reason I’m here. Enjoy the smiley patrol or whatever her name is.
Randall:
I just
Tricia:
I know the same pop culture that you do,
(Hitting pop culture points Randall may understand)
I was an undefined “spooky scary shadow being”; must be evil, right? Or I somehow have some long-term gain besides…
(looking around).
Whatever the hell this is?
Randall:
(Trying to process these developments)
Uh…
Tricia:
I only didn’t have a form before because you hadn’t formally met me. Or were repressing me because, sure, I was kind of a b**** with the sudden “family vacation in ‘82” bit, but you got up in me deeper than my ex’s. Your fear of me/The Being came from our admittedly horrible first impression.
(Asking anxiously)
...So we’re at least even?
(Looking at Randall inquiringly)
Tricia:
If one day you were suddenly Pinocchio but knew your Geppetto, you wouldn’t be driven in multiple ways to get answers?
Randall takes the longest pause of his life.
Tricia and Randall
(At the same time):
f*** off, you’re right, but f***
(Sighs)
This is a lot to process.
Tricia:
(Tisking)
You and your potty mouth
Randall:
So what did you do to the girl?
Tricia:
The girl
(Laughs)
Boy, all of the whirlwind romances, Romeo and Juliet, Endless Love, Randall and…The Girl
Randall:
What the hell is Endless Love?
Tricia:
(Sudden realization)
Ah f*** I am old aren’t I?
It’s been f***ing lonely in here is all. I don’t know where “what’s her face” is; she seems to be more free than I am. Calling me a cliche, though she fits that mold more.
Tricia:
(Sighs)
F*** I’ve been so f***ing bored. You and your “ooo, should I talk to Stacy, ooo Stacy is cute. Stacy, Stacy, Stacy”
(Mock vomits)
To say nothing of your dirtier thoughts, I’m just glad I’m clothed right now. F*** I hate knowing that I’m your physical type
(Mildly relieved)
At least my hair is still good in here. Good God, I’d love yet hate to see…
Randall:
Yourself
ricia:
Bingo, see what lore that you’re worried about can say the same? I’m the one approaching retirement age.
(Smiles)
But with a permanent Tanya Roberts ass, I’ll take a silver lining where I can.
(Sighs, looking for silver linings where she can)
Your music taste after my time isn’t the worst either. It’s good to have normal band names again.
Randall:
So…what the hell are we gonna do now?
Tricia:
I’ll tell you what you’re NOT gonna do, mention s*** about this to Pamela. Spoilers that’s P’s apparent real first name. Or an alias she seems keen on. That’s how this s*** started for me.
Randall:
I’m a pawn to their system.
Tricia:
You majorly underrated yourself...oh God, I’m becoming the mentor or supportive best friend turned romantic confidant role. F*** me, we watch too many movies.
(Sighs)
Why couldn’t I have gotten stuck in somebody cooler’s brain?
Randall:
So…if they task me with another trip with The Tune…
Trisha:
How do we avoid another me?
Randall:
My noggin can probably take only so many visitors? Then I’m no use to either of us.
Tricia:
I’ve been thinking about that; the biggest questions I had were who and what all of this was about.
Randall:
(Dryly)
And that played out so well for both of us.
Tricia
(Awkward pause)
Valid. If we met the same year or within a year, would you be ready? Also f*** them if Restless Minds doesn’t have a customer complaint service you should or could sure as hell be that right?
Randall:
Isn’t us having this conversation now proof that this is inevitable? This is only going to play out one way, ri…
(Randall’s alarm clock rings, waking him up)
(Randall wakes up in his dorm room alone)
Randall:
Damn it.
Normalcy at least, Randall thought. The whole experience made him glad to be in his initially cramped dorm room. Still, the small dorm was rather roomy compared to the cramped nature of Tricia’s rather smaller frame.
He stretched like he never had before, finally using his own legs. He was thankful he had this opportunity that was robbed from Tricia. The things one takes for granted. F***it, I’m still tired. Randall nodded back off, feeling a respite from Tricia, yet something else.
It was something with mystique but much less darkness than it was. Anxiously, Randall nodded off with a building anxiety that his waking world may now be scarier than his dream life. Randall woke up the next day at almost noon. Randall couldn’t help but give a slight chuckle.
What was time to him now anyway? Playing his answering machine seemed the most grounding thing he could think of. P (or is it Pamela now?) and General Todd thankfully gave him the day off, but he received a more odd call. His history professor, Vivian Nithercot, called asking if he could see him in her office.
Vivian Nithercot:
‘Ello
(Sounding odd)
Randall, I know that the school year is over, but could you please give me a gander in my office today? I’ll understand if you’ve been a right bit mardy of late, but you’d be less of a numpty if we met.
Randall
(Unable to stop himself from thinking aloud)
What the hell?
His professor Vivian had always been one of his favorites to learn from, with her seven years older and with a Gerri Halliwell meets Justine Frischmann look and energy, though she was British, but she had yet to be so…. English English.
Randall waited outside of Vivian’s office, giving her a knock. As soon as he did, Vivian looked oddly ecstatic to see him.
Vivian
(To the student currently in her office)
Randall’s more important than you; you’ll have to go. I haven’t seen him in forever.
Randall’s classmate looked at Vivian, befuddled, given they’d all seen each other during last week’s class.
Vivian
(Rushing the student to the door)
Out, out, out
(Trying and failing to think of an excuse for her excitement to see her C-grade student vs the current student’s A-tier grades)
Vivian:
He’s on a super secret honor roll, and we need to…talk.
Vivian pushed the other student out of her office.
Vivian gives Randall an oddly wide smile, excitedly welcoming him in. She unusually seems to have swapped her Bach, Wagner, and “midday Mozart” for Soundgarden. It seemed like Cornell’s contemplative lyrics may have put her in an especially introspective state.
Vivian immediately breaks student/teacher conduct and gives him a giant, warm hug.
Vivian:
(Smiling excitedly)
Dude, it’s been forever.
Randall
(Taking in the weirdness that has been this year)
…Dream song girl…?
Vivian(?)
You’ve SERIOUSLY forgotten my name? What the hell, man? I was THE teacher’s pet at RM, and I’ve been stuck in yours.
Randall:
…The Everly Sister? The Dirty Blond-Haired Woman?
Vivian
(Laughs)
Flattering
(More seriously)
But..blimey I’ll take it. Ohh blimey, oh, and smashing that’s new too.
(Being teasingly British)
‘ello ello
Points to Vivian’s WWI bugle replica.
Vivian:
(Smiling)
You have no clue how much I desperately have been wanting to Cyndi Lauper on that all day.
Randall
(Still catching up)
I’m sorry I’m just not used to…you…being so…
(sees 3 opened cans of soda)
Much
Vivian:
Sorry, sorry, sorry, just…something about your recent time in The Tune seemed to wake us up more fully.
Randall:
…Huh
Vivian:
…So
Randall clears his throat awkwardly, having an idea of why Vivian Moore was stuck in this position.
Randall:
…Vivian is..,
Vivian:
On her nap time anyway, SO MANY STUDENTS TODAY
(Gives a mocking snore)
I’ve been good and in the background, letting her be her, but we NEED to talk.
Randall:
About the Tricia stuff?
Vivian:
About the Tricia stuff, she’s…interesting for a grown-up.
Randall clears his throat, notioning that Vivian was a decade older than him (thus her)
Vivian:
…Right, well you’re the one who couldn’t stop getting tangled and spangled for her, so I’m…gormless for why you’re suddenly so put off by this. How I got here in the first place, that
(Clears throat)
“Emotion notion” towards her seemed like a bridge to here and her.
(Sighs)
And my over zealousness at Restless Minds may have been how I got here. Or in your noggin until The Tune. I think the physical me may be comatose.
Vivian slumps down into a depressive stare. I do…I forgot I missed things and people. Sometimes I smell ammonia and gauze randomly, so I think I’m in a lab.
Vivian takes a deep sigh as she shrinks despite the enormity of the state of her body. Can …I wish there was…a more...a less crazy way I could talk to my parents. Being nowhere and no one you can forget being…someone.
Vivian
(Laughing)
Of course being inside a professor specializing in Greek myths doesn’t help the Prometheus metaphor hit like a damn hammer.
Randall feels awkward wanting to comfort who he vaguely knew her as yet, feeling odd comforting his until today conservatively authoritative professor.
Randall:
I’m…
Vivian:
(Interrupting him)
Don’t say sorry
(Sighs)
Even then I wanted to be more; I just…
(Laughs anxiously)
F***ing bloody Prometheus.
(Gives a long pause)
“Vivian” extends their hand to him.
Vivian/Kelly
My name is Kelly; it’s nice to formally meet you again. As it were. Tricia and I have a potential new mission for you that may help others like us. And uncomplicate things for you.
Vivian:
But I think my time in her is through. It’d be especially odd and probably a conflict of interest if we kept up a relationship post student teacher.
Vivian sits deep into her chair, getting deeply comfy.
Vivian/Kelly:
We can talk more when I’m in there.
(Points to Randall’s noggin)
Or if I’m someone else, I’ll
(Smiles cheekily)
Whistle something witty; I’ve really enjoyed jamming to this Soundgarden group. We’re during her nap time in between Vivian meeting students, so I’m doing both for her.
(Kelly puts Vivian’s hands to Randall’s brain)
Kelly/Vivian:
Nighty night
Randall feels a surge of energy as he gets a momentary “brain freeze” with Kelly re-entering his brain.
Randall:
(Under his breath)
Guh
Feeling uncomfortably voyeuristic, Randall leaves Vivian’s office, closing the door to let her sleep in peace.
Throughout the day, Randall was feeling a profound new sense of…depth. He’s never been one for an ego, yet now. What and when could and/or would he impa…
“Randall?”
A voice asked
Randall anxiously looked around without trying to look inquiring.
“Randall, Randall, Randall?”
The voice asked more playfully in a condescending tone.
Randall tried to become one with the crowd.
The figure approaching Randall was revealed to be a man in their late 20’s with a beard and a “professorly “ look (complete with a turtleneck, khaki pants, and a backpack.
Man taps on their shoulder to try to reach a radio.
Man:
Blue shirt, blue jeans
(Looks at Randall as Randall starts to run)
Randall runs down the hallway as the bearded mysterious man follows suit. They both run down the hallway while trying to look.
Randall knew that someone had turd-flooded the bathroom about a week ago and was hoping plumbing was at its usual speed.
The bearded man reached for their boot to get their gun as Randall approached the bathroom.
Yes, he thought excitedly; he’d never been so glad to see a closed-up bathroom.
Randall slid under the safety tape.
The smell hit him instantly: a whole university’s worth of backlog…backlogs.
The nausea was almost overwhelming as Randall grabbed the safety stand, bashing the armed recon agent in the face with it as they entered the bathroom.
The recon agent dropped their gun in surprise.
Randall
(Nauseously while holding the gun to the agent hiding in the bathroom)
Who
Urp
Are…you?
(The putrid smells are putting his brain into the opposite of a high)
Recon Man:
I am what you have rot.
(Nauseously)
“The Pendulum” swings
Man:
(Chomps a cyanide tooth) Better than…the…smell
Randall runs out of the bathroom while trying to remain under the radar in the crowd.
s***
Having seen enough movies not to go to his dorm, Randall anxiously stopped in the park to assess what the hell his next move (or lack thereof may be).
Kelly:
(In Randall’s mind)
…So?
Randall
(Mentally)
You saw what I went through. They seem far from over chasing me. Something about a Pendulum
Randall sighs as his pager rings.
It has a message from P:
TLk NW
Tricia:
Of course she’s all too willing to “help out”
Kelly:
Ruling out anywhere Restless Minds would look, there’s one place they never would.
Randall sternly turns down the remotest notion of a repeat of just several hours earlier.
Kelly:
(Sternly)
You just had a gun to your head.
Randall:
And what? Now I should put it to someone else’s? You’re vile
Tricia:
What’s your alternative? Trusting those who put us both in this position not to do worse?
A man with a hat walks by, checking a picture while using a walkie talkie with a man standing at the top of the building.
Randall:
(Unnerved under his breath)
From one toilet to the next, flushing the putrid all over me…. I don’t know what to say.
Kelly:
(Half-heartedly and unnerved)
…Check your pager for the address
The smell of ammonia pervades through the darkness with an unusual different size and shape.
“Can’t move,” he thinks desperately, his whole body feeling tingly, piney static energy constantly throughout his body. He can’t even open his eyes though something feels oddly…familiar about this.
Doctor One:
I…never thought I’d ask this at work, but …
Doctor Two
…Why aren’t we singing?
The constant feeling of nothingness was surreal to him. Even in his transitionary stare while using The Tune, Randall had always keyed into what senses he was absent from, yet now he felt trapped in a clingwrap of nothingness. Suffocating on nothingness
He awoke in Vivian’s guest bedroom, having been picked up by her through Kelly, as he had woozily passed out after the fight with the recon guy (and general anxiety throughout the day).
The sound of wailing levels of crying wakes Randall up, anxiously wandering to the master bedroom. The door is locked as the wailing continues, an almost ghostly sound coming from the bedroom.
Vivian/Kelly:
I know that you’re there just f*** off. The wailing inside the bedroom continues.
Randall:
I…don’t fully get it, but you’re still alive.
Vivian:
f*** you, I know where I am and now what I am. A half who steals the whole.
Randall:
(Anxiously)
They’ve…made…made me not worse and
I think I connected with your corporeal body.
Kelly:
Don’t give me false hope.
Randall:
I think I am starting to…
Vivian/Kelly:
What?
Randall:
I don’t want you to say the name at least yet, but do…was there a song that we used to sing at Restless Minds?
Vivian/Kelly:
(Snot-filled from ugly crying, still blubbering, horrified by her current existence or lack thereof)
Maybe
Randall begins to sing the opening line of “Patience” by Guns N Roses.
Vivian/Kelly sings the next lyrics.
Back and forth lyrically.
Vivian/Kelly opens the door, and they start to dance, still spaced apart so as not to get into each other’s physical space. Both feeling mutually connected and complicit in ways they never had before.
Vivian/Kelly and Randall together:
God this is f***ed,
Vivian/Kelly was still in tears over her existence being a concession to everyone else’s, yet how she missed feeling anything/everything but not wanting to supersede anyone else’s.
Closing their eyes as he spun her to a song that made them feel, if not alive, like the liveliest of the dead
Opening her eyes again, the never-ending nightmare returned. She was in Vivian’s house; they were both invaders to everyone, yet home to the other. She couldn’t stand to look at Randall because she wasn’t looking at Randall but through Vivian, feeling lost and found in his eyes. She wanted this all her life but never like this.
Both felt hollow and empty inside in various levels, like flesh like parade balloons in human shapes, with the levels of disparity both had sunk into throughout the past few days. Was this life hell? Both of them wondered but couldn’t face the question with the other. If either could read the other’s mind in this moment, they’d find their only comfort being on that same fiery level, not alone.
“Trash” (acoustic version) by Suede plays on the radio; Kelly’s borrowed head is lying on Randall’s shoulder. Both of them wondered what they had become. Were they still the humans they started as? Or just …” wrappers with personality”? Someone had died today, but they had felt dead for years.
Vivian/Kelly:
So
(Laughs dryly)
What the f*** do we do now? I’m or my actual body is alive, apparently, but where does that get us?
Both slump down on the floor.
Vivian/Kelly:
God, I wish I could get drunk.
Randall:
f***in a, so Promethea, what the f*** happened to you?
Vivian/Kelly:
I don’t know. I hoped that you had some idea for me to meet me? Did you remember the smell and sound? Maybe I connect through whatever senses the real me is connected to?
(Sighs)
That damn ammonia keeps me up.
Randall:
Who do you think would have access to you? Restless Minds? Or whoever these Pendulum a** holes are?
Vivian/Kelly:
(Reservedly depressed)
P probably; I can’t think of anyone else as much as I’d rather think of anyone else for this.
Will I be whole when I am/she is Randall and Kelly both wondered. How much can the self grow outside of one’s being? And what happens when they’re shoved back in? “Do either of us have a yesterday or tomorrow?”
Or are we both stuck with taking those from others? They both needed sleep; they both needed to think, but whose thoughts? Who or what was she thinking of? Who or what were either of their thoughts?
Lost in thought, they both nod off listening to “These Dreams” by Heart. Both fell asleep apart on the floor. Thinking of who they were, will be, and where they were going as sleep came for them.
Randal woke up anxiously worried about who would wake and that he was worse for the worrying. They had both been wading through the same bog of sludge throughout the week and knew the only way out may be through.
Randall:
I’m going to call in P; if worst comes to worst, can “you” take me in? You get me in there, I get you in, you?
Vivian:
(Teasing flirtatiously)
You’re cu…
Vivian sees the awkward nature of the situation.
Vivian/Kelly
(Embarrassed beyond belief)
I’m sorry, stupid dance.
(Feeling depressed, restricted, and stuck
So…can I talk to her?
Randall:
(Surprised
You’ve done full-circle
Kelly:
I HAVEN’T
(Sighs, thinking out her madness)
(Annoyed,)
F*** this is f***ed
(Depressed again)
I just…how can I talk to anyone and
(Notions to their borrowed body)
I BE THE ONE THEY’RE TALKING TO?
I hate her, but
(Feeling the same quicksand)
You know her
Vivian
I…
(Swallows anxiously)
Hope that I do
Cut to:
Randall is at a payphone.
Randall:
I got your message
P:
(Mildly annoyed)
Took you long enough. Are you ok?
Randall
Not really. I think I’m being pursued; our investigations seemed to be drawing unwanted attention.
P:
From who?
Randall:
I’ll tell you in person. I need to be brought in somewhere more secure.
P:
I’ll…
Randall:
And no, Todd, if there is someone behind this on the inside, I’d rather complicate this as little as possible.
P:
I’ll…
Randall:
(Sternly/assertively)
If you want my brain connection, I need definitives.
P:
You know that’s impossible for me.
Randall:
It’ll be more impossible when I’m dead. Why complicate something already complicated?
P:
I
Randall:
If I see anyone besides you, you won’t see me. Potentially ever again and that’ll be very…impractical for both of us.
P:
Fine
Instrumental version of This Is Hardcore, by Pulp begins playing.
P:
I know where I can take you to be safe.
Cut to P arriving to pick up Randall, taking them to The Locker. Entering the secured facility from the parking garage of an innocuous office building into a hidden walled in entrance.
The song continues as the Dreamy Duo dive into the Dungeness depths of The Locker. Anxiously, Randall touches a guard’s hand as Kelly inhabits them. Ensuring some level of safety. The chill of the cool, conditioned air and fears of what await pervade through Randall’s body.
The elevator continues to delve into the dark, post modern, high-tech, and clinical, cavernous depths of The Locker.
The end of issue/episode 3
© July 2026, Copyright by Lawrence Gaines, All Rights Reserved, No Reproduction Without Permission July 30th, 2026